Re-Introduction

I'm not a religious person, but I say everything works out. I'm not
even an optimist, but I refuse to mire in self-pity. I classify myself
as a realist, but people call me a cranky grandpa. I'm neither cocky
nor confident. I'm assured of my words because people are always
searching for answers to questions as basic as 2+2 or as complex as
love. But I'm not a fan of preaching, I'm no pastor and there is so
much to talk about. I love sharing my insights but I know there are
issues out there you want to talk about. In order to quell my
concerns, I'm hoping you all could comment on this post with suggestions. Make this more a discussion

To You...

This post is a very personal reflection with which hopefully you can connect.

Last month, a friend of mine passed away in a tragic accident. I remember being at work and receiving the news, not via phone call, but by text message... and Facebook... I had known her since we were 6 years old, and now, at the young age of 22, she was gone. For the record, we were just friends, always there for each other whenever we needed an ear. We had gone our separate ways in the beginning of high school, but over the years, we had kept in touch. We were supposed to have coffee earlier this summer, but I didn't wake up in time. I've never regretted anything more in my entire life.

I couldn't function, I didn't accomplish anything that day, I was paralyzed. Until then I had never cried over someone's death. I could never truly relate, I never really understood, until then. I finally understood that emptiness, that hollow feeling. For the next few days, I kept moving, purely out of the strength of my own will. I went to work, saw friends, lived my life, but with that empty hollow consuming me. I'm ok now... but it still feels weird. To be honest, when I pass her name in my address book I can't even bring myself to delete her number from my phone. But it's getting easier, every day, a little easier.

I'm not going to say something uplifting like "live your life to the fullest" or "love like you've never loved before," because that doesn't help anyone, it's just a band-aid phrase. What I will say is that all your pains, be it mental or emotional, get easier over time, but ONLY if you allow it. Take your time to grieve, I know I did, but you can't let the pain take over your life, because letting that paralysis consume you is equivalent to dying. No one (sane) would want you to stop your life because of them. Life doesn't stop for one person, but it will always accept you back.

So Ambitious

How many times have you heard or experienced a story about some
interaction with the opposite sex that went HORRIBLY wrong? We all get
a good laugh but subconsciously it makes dating seem that much more
terrifying. On top of that our culture is such that people don't date
anymore, they "hook up." Now don't get me wrong, I love having
options, but the reality is, these choices have given us more fear
than security. It seems like everyone is taking chances but they're
really avoiding it. No one wants to take that chance because they
believe there is something better out there and don't want to miss it.
Others who say they just aren't looking for a relationship is playing
the I want to experience it all card, which is fine, but really is
just living in their fear because they've never been able to find a
stable relationship.
The reason for all these observations is to get to this point: for
years people have been saying there are plenty of fish in the sea...
Boy are they dead wrong. The reality is that this "sea" is much more
like a pool, because: half of the sea isn't your type, half of that
don't see you as their type, half of that are married or in a
relationship, half of that is downright crazy and you don't want to
deal with, half of that pool you can't even speak to, and so on and so
forth until you find yourself with a tank of about two dozen or so
fish. It sounds depressing because well... It is. But you're never
going to find out who is in that tank if you don't make those
connections, and that's the real prize. You learn both about yourself
and about other people, until you reach that point. You can't be
afraid because every step brings you one step closer...

Already Home

In the last few months since my last post, my life has been through a
whirlwind of change. I've been blessed with employment and friendship
but experienced the misfortune of loss and longing. And, although I
would like to change certain things, I'm grateful for the lessons and
experiences. I'm ready to share...

I had been searching for direction for this blog for a long time, but
with a clearer perspective, I've discovered I was already there.

New Posts

I'm re-evaluating things and how it will be presented, and hopefully
more fun